Non-Existent Support System - Reality or Not?

When starting the whole process of deciding as to whether or not I was going to do this surgery, I had to ask myself if I had enough of a support system to be able to go through it all successfully. There is so much involved in the whole thing that being alone through it really isn't an option.

I'm okay being on my own.

After my many wasted years with my ex Rick and my many ridiculous relationships prior to him, I'm finding myself alone at this point in my life. Although I really don't mind since for the most part, I'm okay being on my own but when dealing with such a life altering change, it would really be good to have some sort of a support system. So in the beginning of my process I felt so scared and alone but as I researched, learned and spoke to more and more people I found myself gathering support from people I hadn't realized were there to begin with!

There are side effects which may happen, including death.

Since I am getting the surgery done in Utica, New York it makes sense that I will need someone to drive me home from the hospital after the surgery. I will be staying in the hospital 3 or 4 days depending on whether there are complications or not and I will not be in any shape to be driving myself home. The surgery is laproscopic which offers less of a chance of complications but one never knows and they do warn you there are side effects which may happen, including death.

So I have to be honest about this. I truly believed my parents would be the ones that would be there for me since they have always been the ones to pick me up when I fell down or needed help of any kind in my life. Funny it never occurred to me that they would not be able to do it this time. After talking to them I completely understand their reasons but initially I was completely panicked about who would be there for me. It never occurred to me to ask anyone else I knew since I never had to ask before.

It is going to be all on me ...

As I looked into things I came to the conclusion that whomever I asked to do this with me would get a free hotel room, free food, free gas, free car rental with me and if they needed it, passport fees. It's a lot to ask someone to take the time to be there for me and to even take time off work on top of everything! It is going to be all on me since I have plenty of time to save for it.

When I went to visit my friend Deliska (I'm allowed to mention her name now!) and went to the show in Ottawa, she mentioned that she'd be willing to be there for me. Although we don't know each other very well, we have alot in common and are very understanding about what each of us is going through whether our reasons are the same or not. I completely appreciate the offer from her but I had decided at that point to discuss things with my best friend Cathy.

I feel very relieved I have my surgery buddy!

I've known Cathy for many years and a lot of you reading this know her as well. She's one of the kindest most giving people I have ever met in my life. She's honest and has always been there for me and means almost as much to me as my own family does. She's the next best thing to another sister as she can be without being related. So when I spoke to her I was so relieved to hear she would do it if she could. Since I haven't gotten my surgery date yet it can't all be decided 100% yet but I feel very relieved I have my surgery buddy! Thanks Cathy!!!

A hard time asking things from people.

I have always had a hard time asking things from people. I've always turned to my family when I need support and counting on someone outside of my family is frustrating because I hate to put that one someone else. Although I'm thankful for it because I've heard the weeks before the surgery can be an emotional rollercoaster and it will take someone that understands you well enough to put up with you! I feel for her!

So, on another note, I've really been surprised with how many people have sent me notes and comments regarding my decision. It's been amazing to hear the encouragement from everyone and I thank you all from the bottom of my heart. It's been difficult to be so open and honest and I know I've only just started this whole thing but it's not something I'm good at anymore. When you get hurt a lot, you start to keep things inside but I know that's not necessary at this point. It's all about taking control of my life again and learning to live!

Someone from Madoc that I am looking forward to meeting.

The hospital program in Utica is actually fairly thorough in what they do as well. They seem to have taken every single thing in consideration and actually gears their program to Canadian patients. The most amazing thing of all is there is actually a support group here in Belleville that I can attend with people who have actually gone through the surgery or are going to be having it done. There is actually someone from Madoc that I am looking forward to meeting who had the surgery done with Dr. Graber a year ago. I cannot wait to hear her story.

Strong enough to deal with this head-on and gutsy enough to do it!

As I mentioned in my first blog, a big part of the guidance and knowledge base I have recieved on this whole adventure has come from a good friend who is having the surgery done October 27. I have been following Deliska's steps and progress since she's gone "public" with her decision and am so gracious that she has opened up to me with her honesty and feelings. She's an amazing person too. Strong enough to deal with this head-on and gutsy enough to do it! Considering we met when we were toddlers growing up in Elliot Lake, getting to know her again this many years later has become an amazing moment in my life. I always say things happen for a reason and finding her on Facebook started me towards this decsion. Thanks Dee!

See you soon!