I know it's been a few days since I have posted but life has been a bit crazy. It normally is this time of the year being that Christmas starts now for the company I help do the marketing for and my millstone 40th birthday coming up. My parents came to visit for the weekend and although it wasn't a perfect visit, it was great to see them.
They do say Life Begins at Forty!
Funny, I've gone my whole life attempting to have the "world" learn to accept me for who and what I am and I always believed that by the time I was 40 I would never have to be judged by anyone nor care what others think so much. They do say Life Begins at Forty! We'll see but the few weeks moving towards my 40th were whacked for lack of better terms.
I am the most positive and the most persevering person there is ...
It seems although that I completely believe things happen for a reason, that maybe those reasons aren't as clear as we think they are. I wrote of a friend who helped guide me towards my decision in my earlier posts, Deliska. She is actually in the hospital today on her way to get her surgery done today at around noon. Unfortunately I won't know how things go because she took it upon herself to cut me out of her life by judging me to be too negative to be a part of her life. Strange but true. Everyone that knows me, knows I am the most positive and the most persevering person there is to know if you get to know me well enough. She decided to not take that opportunity and proceeded to judge me as something I'm not.
Unsettling to me to have to deal with such grade school behaviour.
As humans, I think we are all predisposed to being negative. It's amusing to read her blog the last few days and see the negative turn of her posts but I understand that this is most likely the stress speaking in loud clear terms. It's sad to me to of not had the opportunity to get to know her better and become closer friends although I feel she jumped the gun rather quickly; feeling she knew me when she really didn't. It's really unsettling to me to have to deal with such grade school behaviour at this point of my life. Regardless, I resent what happened but since I understand how difficult this journey towards the surgery and the actual performance of it, I can't help but think about her today and hope that everything goes well for her.
I'm not atheist but more confused that anything.
It's funny, several times over the last few weeks I've had religion thrown in my face over and over again. Maybe thats stronger than what I should say but I'm not an overly religious person. I'm not atheist but more confused that anything. I won't get into it but I will just say that there have been many times that I felt the need to say "You are in my prayers and I will be thinking of you." But I don't pray and I couldn't replace that with anything else. It's the same for Deliska today. The only other thing I can say is she is in my thoughts and I will keep my fingers crossed that it all goes well.
Thank goodness for the forums I have been visiting. It's another source of support for me with people who have either gone thru the surgery I am getting or the lapband. I haven't posted yet but apparently you can find an "angel" who will be by your side to answer questions, etc during the journey. There are a ton of people on there from all over the world with a ton of answers and experiences to share. It's called: http://www.obesityhelp.com/forums/amos/
Patience is a virtue they say!
I was also supposed to go to a weight loss support group this past weekend but it was rescheduled to this weekend. I'm looking forward to meeting new people and learning more. I'm anxious to move forward with this but there isn't anything I can do until first of all I am approved by OHIP (Takes two months and has only been a month so far.) and wait for my initial consultation appointment in January. Patience is a virtue they say!
Till next time.
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